It Feels Almost Like Home to Me.

I am pretty sure every time I start one of these blog entries I start by commenting how quickly the time has passed and I apologize for not writing in such a long time! So, I guess it is not any exception this time that I do the same. It is true, the last time I wrote I was on vacation in the States, and now it is nearly October, 3 months later! How is it possible? I say that the Finca is trapped in a time warp in which time is jam packed with happenings, emotions are amplified, and time speeds up. But, this is just a theory.

In all honesty, these past 3 months have been, for the most part, wonderful. I was not in a terribly low place before I went home, but I was tired and homesick. I believe that my month long vacation back in the States with family and friends was just what I needed and allowed me to come back energized, full of hope, excited to accomplish work, and willing to put more of myself into the Finca. Since I have turned my focus from going home to feeling more at home here in Honduras, I have noticed a great change in the way I work with my kids, my volunteer community, and the greater Finca community. Things are still challenging but I feel better equipped with more confidence and a positive hope to face them. Oh, and my Spanish – still far from perfect, but a world of improvement has been made! In the least, I am now laughing with the people over my mistakes instead of just being laughed at! This is indeed a factor that helps my cause.

Yes, things are going well.

Getting back to the Finca was a bit hectic way back in the beginning of July. With all the “political unrest” of the time, as it was so gracefully put by the lady at the airport when she told me my flight was not going to be as scheduled the first time I attempted to come back, did cause a few travel difficulties. (The political situation is still too complicated for me to go into at great length, but in short, for those who are unaware – the president of Honduras, “Mel” Zelaya, was forced out of the country at gun point (aka. “a coup”) due to some funky voting games he was playing. The Honduran Congress replaced him with a man by the name of Micheleti, who basically no one in the world choses to accept as legit. In my politically uneducated opinion, it appears to be a battle between two evils, and unfortunately it is the people of Honduras who suffer, as much of foreign aid has been suspended. And at least the last I knew of the situation, this is how it still stands. Honduras is due for elections in November, so please pray that the process is positively fruitful and peaceful.) HOWEVER, the good news is Trujillo, the town closest to the Finca, and a town that is literally at the end of the road on the Northern Coast before one heads to the Mosquitia (aka. “no man's land”) is not a politically charged town. So, the Finca has seen no threats due to all the political drama.

Once I did make it back, I found out that Peter, a fellow social worker, had moved back into Casa 5, as he had done a few months before, to care for our oldest boys. Having an volunteer run a house is not ideal, but Peter took it on with great courage and did a respectable job. His placement in Casa 5 also meant that I became the social worker for Casa 4, our middle boys' house, as Peter was no longer able. In some weird, twisted way, I think that my taking on Casa 4 was an answer to a prayer or maybe better said a challenge from God, as one of my hopes in coming back to the Finca was to be more present to our boys.

It has been hard to balance my time between my three houses, but it has been a good challenge. Though I always wish for more time, I have really enjoyed the time I have spent with the 6 boys that live in Casa 4. At the beginning of August, I was asked to cover their house for 4 days. I admit being intimidated by this on-taking. These 6 boys are full of energy and very clever. But, to my great surprise, the 4 days were so fun and went fairly smooth. Sure, we had some small battles and they tried to push my buttons, but I am proud to say that I kept my calm, cooked as close to a Honduran Mama as I could, and even was let in on the simple joys of Casa 4. I witnessed how just our kids can be as the do consider the desires of each other. I watched David, a usually quite, shy boy, dance around the sala singing. I saw José Isabel, who usually needs 50 reminders to do his chores, practically clean the whole kitchen after helping me make banana bread when only asked to wash a few dishes. Another boy, who usually wants nothing to do with me, chose to share his bag of chips with me and was so excited to fill me in on the books he was reading. There were so many other gifts of this weekend. I not only spent some quality time with these boys, I fed them, laughed with them, disciplined them, played with them, loved them, and received small acts of love from them. I lived with them. One can't be more present than that!

My girls continue to bring so much joy into my life. The clearest affirmation that I am right where God wants me, came as I entered the Finca after my vacation and was nearly knocked down with a herd of smiling girls hugging me and yelling “Sara Fe” repeatedly. (It just so turns out that my full name Sara Faye sounds like “Sara Fe” in Spanish, which translates to Sara Faith. Or sometimes it turns into Sara Cafe!) My littlest girls are growing and maturing so quickly. Seidy loves to tell me her silly jokes and then falls on the ground laughing at herself! Cati has the great talent of saying everything that comes to her mind...and I mean everything. You really have to be careful what you say around her because she will most certainly repeat it. Magdalena, who is so rambunctious, on her good days, loves to show how she can write her letters well and is so proud of the way she does her chores. My older girls continue to open themselves to me as well. Belkis and Belgia shower me with daily hugs. Maria continues to keep me humble about my Spanish as she always so honestly and directly tells me when I say words wrong, as she giggles and giggles and repeats the same words incorrectly. Jeni and Mirian slowly are letting me into their hearts and have sought me out for little things, as opposed to avoiding me. Their simple gifts are abundant.

October 1st is my one year anniversary at the Finca! Crazy. It is also the day that our new volunteer class arrives, and my group changes our status from “newbies” to “middies” until December when we take on the title of “oldies,” as our leaders of this year will move on to the next phase in their lives. And, so the cycle of endless transition of the Finca continues... But, I am in a good place and looking forward to this coming year. After a year of figuring out how to survive here in the Honduran campo, I do not feel like a stranger to myself anymore. Instead, I feel slightly more prepared and excited to dive deeper into the Finca and really give of myself to our kids. I can now happily and confidently say that the Finca feels almost like home to me. THAT is a huge answer to many prayers of the last year. For this and so many other blessings, I am thankful!